Saturday, September 22, 2007

Time of Nick

Early Tuesday morning we got a call from Emily Loving. At 6:00 am. Nick Martin was in an accident on 470 at Raytown Road coming home at about 1:30am from his girlfriends house in KS. It is speculated

that he fell asleep at the wheel, his car swerved into the ditch and flipped end over end. Nick's been at Research Medical Hospital since in a coma.

When Emily initially called she said it was bad and they didn't think he was going to make it. Well, now it is Saturday and he's still with us. He has some brain activity, like when people talk to him, but he has not been breathing on his own.

The initial swelling in his brain has gone down and he had a temperature that broke on Wednesday.

This has been very hard. At first I was sad from the call cause all day Tuesday I thought we might hear that we would lose him. But Tuesday night B and I visited the hospital and I was full of great hope and faith after the visit.

I went back on Wednesday. And on Wednesday I went back, to see him. At first I walked right by his room, because when I looked in I didn't see Nick. It was definitely someone else. His face was largely swollen, but everyone told me he looked better than he did the day before. I just sat in the chair in his room and looked at him and prayed. Several people had been in and talked to him. Gary (his dad) and another lady came in while I was in there so the lady could say bye before she left the hospital. I just sat. That was good for me. I typically don't do well in hospitals, especially ICUs.

On Wednesday, when I first arrived I did a lot of sitting around and talking with Derek (Nick's brother) and others. Especially with Josh Sliffe. We went down to the Cafeteria in the Hospital to eat. He told me that he and Nick had been hanging out a lot for the last six months. He shared with me his dreams basically and how much he wants to do music. He said that he was working on some songs and hoped to record them come December. Then he mentioned me when he was talking about people who would be involved. I was thrilled, though I didn't show it. All I can think about is how I want that, but it would be hard to do it without Nick because he has been so involved with Josh recently that it would just be hard. I have also always thought that Nick would be a part of my musical future. It sounds so right, but I have to hold on to God and to faith in this time.

When Josh and I went back to the waiting room, Bryce Anderson, Ben Campbell and Adam Chiarelli were there, among others. I hugged Adam and we talked a little bit. Then Bryce asked if there was a chapel and I told him there was and how I had been waiting for someone to go with. I grabbed Josh and the three of us went down. We started praying aloud. Slowly others joined us. Ben, Derek, Ben and Alyssa Bricker, Leah and Luke LoChiano, Brandon Loving and Aaron Bickell.

I was very encouraged when Derek started praying. Derek is always very quiet with his opinions and such but he just opened up and asked God to bring back his brother. He said, "We want to see him breaking cymbals like glass, again." I guess when the accident had happened Derek had said, "Its going to take more than this to kill Nick." Who knows a single man better than his own brother?

We spent a good long time praying for healing, glory, peace, patience and understanding. The patience has been the hardest part for me in this.

It was after the prayer that I went in to see Nick. Then I left.

I blame seeing Nick for the hardest day yet, Thursday. It was just very difficult. I went back up to the hospital after work. There were family and older people, but no one I was really close with, but Adam. It was good. We got to talking about a lot of things. I was glad when he asked me what I thought about this whole thing. I told him that I think Nick is strong, but that I didn't understand any of God's plan in this. He said that he was thinking about how all day Monday God must have just been with Nick. Even when he was in the car and it was flipping, God was just there with him. And then we talked about how Nick must be kickin' it on the beach with Jesus. Just sitting and hanging out.

Adam said he is moving to Seattle soon to do some work with some music folks, and that he is going to be a road manager for Demon Hunter. Danielle was there at this time and we both encouraged him to visit Mars Hill.

Thursday I went up after work, Danielle arrived later. I went straight to the chapel to pray. Brandon and Brandan Deason showed up while I was in there. We talked a bit and Brandon told me about how earlier that day when he arrived he went to see Nick with Derek and Debbie (Nick's mom). They were telling Nick to "Wake up, Brandon's here." And how they were encouraging him to wave, shake hands and even give him "the bird," (God would forgive him this one time.) Well, they left without any sign. But I guess later when a friend of the family went back to see him with one of Nick's parents the lady said, "Is he flipping me off?" His fingers were actually shaped as if he were. Some people think it was a ploy, that someone had messed with his hands. But Brandon and I were choosing to believe that he did it on his own.

There were no new updates on Friday. They have slowly started lowering his sedative.

There is a group on Facebook called, "Pray for Nick". Over 500 people have joined.

There is a lot of support at the hospital because of how Nick was involved as a kid at FBC Lee's Summit, and now he plays drums at LSCC's 316 and goes to Life Church, in Olathe, on Sunday's.

I have no idea what God is trying to do in this. I told Brandon that it makes since that it's Nick because God's trying to get the rest of us to shape up, Nick didn't need it.

I know this is true for me. I am trying to focus on this situation so much, even when I want a break from it, that I am praying and reading my Bible more. Danielle told me the other night that "God is going to take care of Nick." I couldn't believe it. I mean I can, but just her saying that, we've never said that about anyone but ourselves. I'm not trying to sound self-righteous, but I just had to stop and think, "She's right." It obviously makes sense. That has been our slogan for so long, that it was just hard to think about it for someone else. I told Danielle that this has been even harder on my faith than when she was sick, because when she was sick she could still talk and tell us how she felt. I have no idea what is happening with Nick, I think that is the hardest part.

Some thoughts I've had over the week:

+I've said before, and Josh confirmed it the other day, it's hard to find a drummer, so why might God take one away from us?

+Never leave someone with bitter feelings towards them; you never know if you will see them (conscious) again.

+For every one person that falls asleep (at the wheel), how many people will wake up?

+Sometimes we don’t know what to pray, but the Holy Spirit intercedes for us.

+Nick has been involved recently in three churches, just in the Kansas City area. There are people from these three churches plus more at the hospital. God is calling his family, his body to unite under the head. (Four if you count the year he was living in L.A.).

+All things happen for a reason. Small things happen to bring about small changes. Big things happen to bring about big changes. Extreme, Dramatic things happen to bring about extreme, dramatic changes. This was only meant to happen to Nick, one of the most extreme people I know.

+Why would God want to take a lover? A dreamer?

+It's obviously not my plan.